Confidence and Self Esteem

Lack of confidence and low self-esteem are learned behaviours.

Have you noticed that the majority of babies are quite delighted in themselves? They express their needs without a second thought and when they are pleased, everybody knows it from their uninhibited smiles.

But somehow, along the route to adulthood, many of us lose that sense of self- belief, and even come to accept low self-esteem or lack of confidence as part of our innate character, staying quietly inside our comfort zones, yet also feeling we could be, should be, getting more out of life. These feelings are often associated with anxiety and depression .

Think of a day when everything goes well except one thing, maybe a chance remark, bad traffic conditions, or a mistake at work. What will someone with low self-esteem tend to focus on? It is likely to be the one thing that didn’t go well, not all the other things that went right or were enjoyable! How absurd is that?

But someone with confidence and good self-esteem is far more likely to see things in proportion and not let life’s ‘blips’ get in the way or occupy their thoughts for too long.

If you feel you are not getting as much out of life as you would like, it is entirely possible to change.

Just as we can learn negative patterns of behaviour, so we can not only unlearn them but also find the resources within ourselves to make changes for the better.

We may simply need to start by relearning to like ourselves, just as we are, and just as we did when we were very small. It may also be necessary to do some mental ‘housework’, to perhaps clear out old beliefs that are really no longer of any benefit to us. Then we can start looking at the wealth of resources we already have within ourselves so that we can begin to make changes for the better.

And as changes for the better fall into place you will find that the world seems to be a brighter, better place too.